ROMANTIC MUSINGS: Purest Pain

“The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live” ~Norman Cousins

There is something profound about love and heartbreak when you realize you ache for another person. It’s the kind of pain that hurts your soul. You find it difficult to breathe, and so you hold your breath hoping the pain fades.

You are unable to talk about what happened. Not in the interests of keeping secrets, but because you’re incapable of speaking without revealing the details with tears.

Some days you’ll sleep well. Others, not so much. Then there are those days when you sleep longer than usual. Probably a result of the overwhelming rush of emotions that bombards you when you cry yourself to sleep. The broken breaths lull you to bed, akin to falling in love…slowly at first, and then all at once.

You need it.

That one good cry every other day. It’s the only way you’ll get the pain out of your system. You must get it out of your system. You have no choice, lest you become emotionally septic.

The depression can kill you, or lead you to a slow death. I’m not referring to the finality of a mortal death, but rather the sort death that kills your spirit. Do not succumb to that shadow of loneliness. It leads you to nowhere good.

Cry.

Cry so hard it hurts.

Let your face soak.

Let snot run freely from your nose.

Howl like a wolf at the moon and let your body convulse.

Just let it out.

It is merely a demon being exorcised from within.

You must do this if you are to heal.

It may take a while, and you may have to go it alone most of the time, but the freedom you’ll feel once you’ve completed the journey will be worth it. I say this from experience, and I assure you that I have felt your pain.

I’ve seen the lost love of my life in the aftermath of heartbreak. Lovely as ever. Her long dark hair falling over her shoulders like a waterfall in the night. And I avoided her eyes. I wouldn’t even gaze upon her face…the stars and the moon.

I still won’t.

I refuse to do so, because some hurts you just never get over. And sometimes, it hurts to be that close to someone you loved with every ounce of your being and to know it is lost.

I dare say this is what Lucifer felt at the gates of heaven, forbidden entry into the kingdom of God…beyond the warmth of perfect love.

Remember always, even an angel can hurt, but life is too precious to spend it in pain.